Q Am I really wrong?
Q Are you sure?
Q Can you prove that I’m wrong?
A Yes, but, you’ll have to agree in advance what proof looks like, otherwise you could just move the goalposts after the game.
Q How come I have so much evidence that I’m right?
A That’s confirmation bias. Your brain carefully files away all the reasons you might be right, and disregards all the reasons you might be wrong.
Q How come so many people agree with me?
A They’re wrong too.
Q They can’t all be wrong, can they?
A Most people are wrong about most things most of the time. If there’s one remarkable discovery to be made in the study of science, religion and philosophy, it’s that being wrong about almost everything does people so little harm. The fact that every scientific discovery since the stone age has only doubled our life expectancy is a cutting indictment of the futility of knowledge in the face of ignorance.
Q What about the evidence that I should be right?
A Those are mostly just reasons why it’s embarrassing that you’re wrong.
Q What about the mathematical proof that I’m probably right?
A That just means we should have been momentarily surprised that you were wrong. Total denial is not called for.
Q Why has nobody told me this before?
A Given the way you’re acting now, it’s hard to imagine anybody feeling like you might be anything but completely receptive to information relating to your wrongness.
Q So what? I’m supposed to completely rethink everything I thought I knew?
A Well, bumbling blindly got you this far, and we wouldn’t be exploring all our options unless we at least considered elective ignorance. Eternal darkness loses some of its lustre once you embark upon it willingly, though, so perhaps you should take comfort in the knowledge that you’re probably wrong about all sorts of other things, too.